SLEEP

I close my eyes. Sleep comes swiftly, easily.

The darkness I feel waiting in my mind. Silence. Silence. The still of consciousness, of time, seem amazing, untouched, palatable yet incoherently misunderstood and I face elements so far removed from reality and yet solid to the touch.

Reaching out, my trembling fingers dance upon cold flesh. I see nothing but dank darkness. I feel the shallow breath of an expiring life which is not my own and yet, it is;

I see a path. Should I follow? For a moment, my conscious being ripped the fabric of the time continuum, I gaze down at my seemingly lifeless corpse. The bars on the wall remind. The wheelchair beside the bed harkens me to remember for a moment, fleetingly and then I am back on that path. I begin to walk, slowly at first, tentatively.

The beads of perspiration sit heavily on my brow, popping before rolling un-ostracised down my face. I lift my feet, one after the other, faster, faster until I break into a run.

I’m running, running. Quicker. Heart beats faster. I see only the yard ahead of me as my speed eats up this ongoing journey...

And then. Stop! Breathing deeply, reaching out, touch a tree and wheeze. Coughing, I fight the disconsolate asphyxiate that grapples with my soul, pulling me. Pulling me. I resist; rain falls somewhere below me.

I taste the droplets steeped in ozone, life giving. Nitrous. I remember...

Again, I reach out. I touch flesh, clod. Clammy. Deceased, begotten, forgotten. Darkness. And silence I look upon lifeless limbs that function no more and arms long since amnesiac’d of their necessary engineering, the practicalities of memoric animated operation. And still’d eyes that see without viewing and gaze upon and feast upon the bravality and beauty of words that paint pictures with gentle fire that does not scorch, blithes me with soft embrace.

And I feel every moment, every movement and every tender touch...

The skies brighten. I see the sun, a witness. I can touch the sun, lifting my head I float in-gravitas towards its height, dance on morphing clouds and peer beyond the horizons the eyes of God can see, mountains erupt and blossom in colours and puritan snows while rainbows are worn like bonnets.

Childrens voices sing and laugh at play, a paradisiacal paradox, the Eldorado dream of Utopian ecstasy. I’m alive...

I’m alive! And free. And painless.... and able...

Sought after dreams leave us barren, financially bare tho’ this concept is unpurchasable. I journey cross oceans of blue and ice castles that stand taller than steeples, frozen stalagmites in the decorative architecture of nature’s basics, the right of all life to enjoy, to traverse and feast upon until sated; the beauties and wonders I see, the adventures I partake of and enjoy, the people I adore who reciprocate, exchange love for peace and peace for love.

And love engineered by besotted structure, a defective skeletal medial arrangement whose options lie in tatters in a life with the walls of reality but allow escape to take to blue skies. Flying without hindrance, to the seas, swimming unrelenting; and when sleep closes its gate to the darkness I awake and continue living with the immobility and pain until I can again close my eyes and journey once more to the life and sequested adventures where everything is normal, almost...

© tcmoon 2010