An Historical And Truly Indomitable Revelation

Hot news. And, a very frightening discovery;

Bird song; beautiful isn’t it? But hold that thought. The way we look at our feathered friends has been, alarmingly, thrown into question. Once you have read this, you will never look at birds in the same light. EVER again!

I have this on good authority. Let me give a synopsis. Or an outline for those who don’t know what a synopsis is;

Bird song is subliminally hypnotic and now, surprisingly, according to a leading palaeontologist along with high ranking scientists who wish to remain anonymous, claim that, because most of you know (or should do if you 1) paid more f*****g attention in school lessons. 3) you’ve missed some of the best programmes about history and such and 3). Oh, there is no two.

Anyway, birds are direct descendants of dinosaurs. Yes, it’s true! Hard to believe I know and if you thought your neighbour was a bit loopy because he called his African Grey, Rex, now you’ll know why.

But I digress. The dinosaur world or, as is, the world we inherited, or, um, the bit ruled by dinosaurs, um, oh bugger….new paragraph…

But I digress. The… oh, did that bit, OK, well, we were or are told that, the dinosaur population was wiped out in one hit, by an errant asteroid that collided with the planet (Earth) about, well, some million years ago, no, more millions than that, probably before we were born, hee, hee, oh yeah, silly! Anyway, the dinosaurs were allegedly extinct-ed by this huge chunk of rock (from Blackpool?) that came from somewhere else I’ve never heard of (so, not Blackpool then). But my friends, new evidence proves beyond reasonable doubt that, there is more to this allegation that meets the eye, well, one of mine at least. (not the glass one!)

The dinosaurs, as some other leading scientists who do have public persona's but I’ve forgotten who they are and I can’t a***d to research them, claim that all of the dinosaurs did not perish and further to that hypothesis, there wasn’t even an asteroid, despite claims that the big hole found someplace in the world was in fact dug by Paddy Gregorian and his gang, commissioned by King George the 18th of French letters, near Swindon, who wanted a swimming pool and one of those hot tub things where jets of water shoot out and do, oooh, oooooh, oooooooh things to ya. Sorry. Back to the dinosaurs. The fire in the sky witnessed by our predecessors, the apes who wrote an account in “Adam's Times” 300 million BC so that we would know what really happened. Anyway, and I know a lot of you will be shocked. Or then again, maybe not, but, the alleged ‘asteroid’ was in fact, a spaceship. Yes I know, amazing news isn’t. Who said no?

The aliens aboard the spaceship, which had a femalien driving (omg!), actually crashed landed on Earth because she hadn’t pulled into the services east of Alpha Centauri, as advised, I HAVE to add, and, as a consequence, ran out of fuel and bounced off the moon, redirected then to Earth and came down somewhere now known as The Alien Spacecraft Mis-Landing Site. Get tickets by emailing someone who has them and go see this marvel.

I seem to have tangently strayed somewhat, just like the femalien one supposes…

Anyway, the crew of seven women and 28.000 other gender, decided to make the most of the trip and, fortunately for them, it was Bank Holiday Monday and everyone was by the seaside. They took the dinosaurs and enacted a gene that would remain in the jeanealogy of this species and subsequently eventually reappear and, through the magic of birdsong (I spoke of that earlier. Were you taking notice?) and bring power that would see a particular species of the future (as it would have been from then you understand) (why?) (cos we’re chatting in the past at present… duh!), allowing the commandeer to command these species like puppets and have them believe every word thus destroying the fabric of Mankind’s dominance and wanton abuse of the world. The precursor to these commandeers are, in fact, these aliens.

Their “heirs” are now known as – “politicians”. Remember that word, there may well be questions later. At my house!

Precursors to our feathered friends?

So when you hear birdsong on the cracking of dawn, be aware and alert, try not to listen too intently, close your minds so the messages cannot get through. Do not be fooled. Birds are pretty but they are dinosaurs in sheep’s clothing, well, no, that’s not quite right but it’s a cliché and I like clichés. Oh, I’m sorry, my wife says it isn’t spelt like that, that which I like.. (So long as it isn't made with liquid German eggs...)

Over to you sergeant…

© tcmoon 2011 (2007)