As A Child. Q & A.

As a child, like most children, I loved fluffy little animal’s, sunny skies and smiling faces.

As a child, like most children, I wanted everyone to share the same experience of childhood happiness I did and learn to ignore any negative attributes, in truth, hoping that no-one endured the pain I suffered or saw others suffer.

As a child, like most children, I wanted to sing every day, to dance like I was happy, to be thankful for the goodness I had and meals everyday which I know many others forfeited, unfortunately as a matter of society’s global positioning.

As a child, like most children, I always knew my mother loved me unconditionally and would do her utmost to protect me despite the upsets we’d have tho’ they would be forgotten quickly and that, no matter what, my mother would always be the best mother in the whole wide world!

As a child, like most children, I never wanted to grow up and leave behind all those childhood dreams and perfections of play, when imagination didn’t exceed the boundaries beyond which reality was ready to strike us all down and shatter all illusions I had envisaged ‘real’ life to be.

And, as a child, like most children, I knew there was always someone special waiting for me, just as mother told us. I didn’t know who she was and wasn’t certain I’d meet any time soon, if indeed at all. And whether I’d know who she is.

And her too.

As a child, like most children, happiness wasn’t something to chase, it was always there and as a child, I, like most children, was the only one qualified to recognise it because it wasn’t dressed up in perfume, flowers, love and conditions.

As a child, like most children, I believed life would be like childhood, tho’ somehow, I would never actually grow up. Nor need to.

As a child, like most children, I saw Grandad smoking cigarettes and nicked a puff, swearing then never to smoke myself.

No matter what.

As a child, like most children, that “love” thing was always taboo and a bit ‘icky’ and the thought of kissing girls when football could be played was a no-no. And even when football wasn’t to be played, the very thought abhorred us all. (boys anyway).

As a child, like most children, war was just a game that everyone played, much like cowboys and indians, where nobody actually died or was hurt.

As a child, like most children, the “love” thing amounted as far as the sharing of bubble gum. “Real” love of course meant the bubble gum had only been chewed a few times...

As a child, like most children, going for a walk to local woods or the river or through country lanes was an adventure and never dangerous. And those ‘funny men in raincoats’ that mother always warned us about were never a real danger because, as children, we never went anywhere alone. And if we did, the ‘war cry and SOS’ were the same one call and could be heard in secret code, invisible to adults, the world over and the child would soon be rescued.

And, as a child, like most children, the end of the world was something we read in comic books. It would never actually happen. And why did we think that? Because we were children and still had our own lives to lead.

As a child, like most children, we always “fell in love” with our babysitter who was usually pretty and ten years older. We always had fun with them and laughed a lot. (I did!)

And, as a child, like most children, the world was, very simply, perfect and a delight to be a part of. We were aware there were bad people, bad things that happened but we always saw past the sadness, the devastation, the humanity and the broken hearts and lived happy existences.

And finally, as a child, like most children, although we didn’t always seem to be caring, we cared about other people without ever actually admitting it. (We were ONLY kids for goodness sake!)...

But, I DID grow up!

And as an adult, I’m glad it isn’t Christmas everyday. Not for the spiritual or humanity reasons but because by today’s standards, I’d be a very poor man because Christmas has lost its original message and has become totally commercialised, which is a real shame. I would, of course, welcome the former concept.

As an adult, I still love fluffy animals, sunny skies and faces upon faces of smiles. Luckily we still have most of all.

As an adult, I still like to share my happiness, and avoid any of the pain being passed along. Unfortunately, life simply isn’t like that. And I still see suffering tho’ now as an adult, I feel more responsible about it, even if totally detached. I don’t think we can do much other what we do, to avoid it or change it. If only...

As an adult, I do still sing every day. Dancing is now a thing of the past but I am thankful for what I have even if sometimes we seem to be ungrateful, deep inside, we rarely are. I hate to waste anything because of knowing that, someone, somewhere in the world would be eternally grateful for whatever I might consign to the garbage, knowing too that, through no fault of their own, they suffer because of where they live.

As an adult, I am fully aware of how much my mother loved us, moreso now that she has passed away. Growing up we see and feel things differently, even with mothers, there are arguments that you never hold any score by, until you grow older and remember the things you said that could have been so hurtful to her and yet, she never let on and loved you just as much. Tho’ she has gone, I know she’s around watching over No 1 son. And she was, and is, the best mother in the world simply because, she was my mum!

As an adult, I, we, remember most of the things we dreamed about, what we’d be when we grew up into adults. And now we’re here, childhood seems a far off place we once frequented, but it isn’t. We remain children, it’s just our outlook that alters and we learn different aspects of life, alternative applications to bring into our live. Our imagination will always remain childlike to a degree, as adults we see the points we couldn’t see as children, those that, as a child, would have been difficult to achieve.

As adults, those same dreams and obstacles are somewhat easier to tackle, simply because our outlook has altered and we are able to apply different logic.

That special someone is always waiting for all of us, no matter how unlucky we may feel. One will know which is the “soulmate” but may choose to overlook it simply because of other things in life that, at the time, seem more important. It has been posed whether any one person could possibly have more than the one soulmate. Logically speaking, I don’t think there is that option because a soulmate basically means, friend to your soul, to share heaven and life. In that respect, in my opinion, there can be just the one. Although, it’s possible to believe one does have more than one. It’s then a case of deciding which is it. We all go through life, tasting different menus tho’ hardly ever settling on one delicacy simply because of the varied choice. Love can be like that. As children we see things in black and white. If we had chosen then, as a child, we’d probably pick the ‘right’ one first time of asking and for some, maybe that is, indeed the case. I believe I know who my soulmate is. And it was one I ‘dreamt’ of as child without actually meeting in the physical until much later in life. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

As an adult, most children can look back with fondness. Others are, and have not been, as lucky. There are things in my childhood that will remain unsaid. I have dealt with them. But I can also look back with a fondness that some people find difficult to comprehend considering the other things. But happiness isn’t just about things like Christmas or birthdays or parties, happiness isn’t an option you can choose to ignore, tho’ many do. Happiness is a physical being, albeit unseen as such. Happiness is about being able to be happy while the world burns around you. It’s about fluffy rabbits, soft kittens, ice cream, laughing, smiles, friends, family, love and sense of being. Happiness doesn’t have to be chased, it will come naturally, no-one is exempt. Sometimes one does need to open their eyes and their hearts to see and receive it. Apart from that, it’s there. Always;

As an adult I guess, to a certain degree, I have grown up. But growing up is about accepting responsibility, to guiding your children should you be lucky enough to have them, to looking at the world and seeing what you can offer it. By the same token, you don’t have to have grown up, not just to be an adult. There is no written constitution to adhere to, no formal guidelines to follow, it’s how you apply yourself to your own life and the lives of other. And if you can still remember running through open fields in the sunshine as a Spitfire pilot or some other sense of imagination, you haven’t forgotten childhood and you haven’t grown up because not only have you remembered those sun drenched fields, it made you smile to recall it. Growing up is something done by someone who forgot how to smile...

Seeing one’s Grandfather smoking a cigarette back then in our childhood was one, to begin with, of admiration. Strange how times change. But, it is different now and had we been furnished with the information our children were given, it would have been a habit to avoid. However, one still sneaked a puff on Grandad’s Woodbine, and, hated it! You swore then and there, you would never take up smoking. Of course, life doesn’t always mimic memory and attitudes change too.

Smoking, at least for me, was a social choice. It was a form of rebellion and one that we should have grown out of. But as we grew and got older, it became a second nature. Now many years later, I am taking the decision to stop. Not because I’ve grown up, children don’t really entertain the idea of cigarettes, no, it’s now once more, a social choice. It’s a health choice. Simple really. That is a part of me that pulled away from the child in me. Had all of me remained a child, y’know, skipping adolescence, maybe the smoking option would have been avoided. Who knows...

The opposite sex, in my case then, girls, were just other children who joined in our games. We hardly ever excluded girls from our ‘adventures’ mainly because they didn’t want that. (the equality reforms began young). They were included to play football, climb trees, wade through swamps, go fishing and lots of other things. We only omitted their inclusions in cowboys and indians because they said we were silly. And because they used to come up with stuff like “you’re a hero when you play Jesse James, I think I love you”. Oh yuk! That was the only time it was mentioned at about age 6 to 8 or so.

As adults, we looked back at the things girls used to say and if we did really like them. Well of course we did, after all, they shared their bubble gum. And if we really liked them, we gave them a bit back, after we’d chewed the flavour out of course, I mean, this was bubble gum we’re talking here, serious stuff. Best of all tho’, was them running off to tell their girly chums we’d given them a bit of bubble gum and they’d all huddle together giggling and pointing at me or us. That was the end of the love thing!

As adults, we are far more aware of the dangers that lurk on every corner. These days, unfortunately, society has become paranoid because of the dangerous people that now frequent our neighbourhoods. It is sad that life and community has come to the point it has, especially when I recall times we met the ‘old man of the woods’ that mother had told us to stay away from. But we were children and didn’t really digest how dangerous a situation could be, besides which, we had a secret code and were protected by our network which stretched all the way from our garden to, um, next door’s garden. But we were only a couple of miles away, so it wasn’t too bad should we need to call on our comrades. But the old man of the woods was an enigma, he didn’t seem to hurt anyone although a lot of adults at the times had tried to drive him from his shack in the woods. But to us boys and a couple of girls, he was an adventurous hero. 

He told us stories of lands in the sky built on clouds and dressed in gold; of adventures in deserts in far off lands, and wild animals in dense jungles. He let us watch him cook rabbits he’d trapped, skinning it and putting over a small fire. We were in awe of him. But he never did us any harm and these days, there is so much prejudice to people who don’t look like what some see as harmless. Stereotyping has taken over and not all books should be judged by their covers. It’s the same with the elderly. Kids today forget that the elderly folks in our society are walking history books. They’ve seen it all, many have done it all and kids could learn so much from them. We did. We loved the stories about fierce battles, horse races on windswept beaches, sailing boats and loads of other things. These are things that, to a child, remain magical. And now as an adult, I try to do the same while at the same time, denying growing up!

As an adult, the pending end of the world became such a real factor in one’s thoughts. A lot of adults put a lot score by the facts in scientific terms concerning asteroids and other outer worldly objects that could, we’re reliably informed, catastrophically destroy the Earth in one, practically, fell swoop by crashing to Earth and creating death on a mammoth scale, wiping out all life on the planet.

We have no template to guide us only what archaeologists and historians have surmised that which has occurred in the past. Many people take heart from what they believe to be pure conjecture by these fraternities and yet others firmly believe, and hang on every word. When you are a child it becomes just a passing thought, to most anyway. I have to admit to thinking deeper about such things, actually imagining what I would do should the end come. My first thought being for my football and my family next and survival being the utmost emotions, inbuilt in every one of us. How odd that after so many years of studying such anomalies, I am less afraid of any impending doom than many others. I cannot explain why except to say that, perhaps, instead of worrying what might happen, concentrate on what I can make happen and through that, to make others happy, after all, my life may probably last this age and time again (fingers crossed eh) and as a mid-elder, I should be laying the foundations for the generations to come, remembered then as a pioneer of sorts that removed the fear of a quite probable occurrence to end history.

As an adult, oh yes, I remember my babysitter(s). At aged about 8, maybe 9, I fell in love with one, a girl who lived at the end of the street, she being about 16 then. And why? Because of the attention, because of the hugs one received that was apart from family members, although she was seen as part of our extended family. The other was around the same age grouping tho’ I remember little about her maybe because she didn’t mind us all that much as the first had. She was a good family friend and grew up, got married and had kids of her own. And I babysat her boys when I was 16. I was, still am, very fond of her. But both girls had some effect on my life in many respects, tho’ maybe a little hard to explain. So I won’t try...

As adults, we are, not only expected to but also do, look at the world with adult eyes although still have a yearning to ignore the sadness and badness and treat the world as what we see, have seen, as a child. That’s one part of growing up none of us really want nor expect to envisage.The perfection we revelled in has gone. The magic of Christmas now dissipated. The excitement of holidays, thronging with friends and dashing through life, seemingly, without a single care.

Unfortunately, reality does not allow such frivolity. Everything has to be serious, everything has to have a fine cutting edge that we have to respect to ensure not being cut. But we still have those moments we can slip back into a time we once enjoyed without fear, without pain and in general, without rules. The world really was our oyster and ours to do with as we will.

That has been demolished now. I think if more people viewed life as a journey rather than a task, the world could be such a better place. We could and should include more people, forget their colour, their language, creed or religion, they have become wanton obstacles, created barriers by people who refuse to integrate, turn away from those in need and prefer to make everything a conflict. That is sad testament to mankind, indeed, to humanity itself. I’m not saying everyone should follow the same credo, that wouldn’t work. The diversity of language and faith is what makes it appealing top those who choose to follow. But a sense of tolerance would make things so much better.

You see, as children, there was an innocence that couldn’t be measured, couldn’t be priced. In communities around the world, caste was often ignored or at least, overlooked, by children. I had many friends of several denominations, several nationalities. None of us were abusive to each other. None of us ridiculed which faith we were nurtured in and even if sometimes, some of us took stick for some things we did, it was soon forgotten. I joined a choir because I wanted to sing and because I was encouraged to by relatives. It wasn’t about attending church. That might sound awful but that’s how it was. I was respected because I sang and because I sang in church, no-one ridiculed me for that.

The church is one of the biggest factors in communities for bringing a community together. The other is probably pubs. But, for a few hours every week, people of varying nationalities came together, either to pray or sing and then join together in the pub. No prejudice. I’m talking about Anglican and Catholics who attended separate services but came together in the pub after and talked about football et al.

Children are like that, not the pub bit (well, not all of us hee hee) but put aside what children see as unnecessary differences, and join together as one band of kids. In the village I was raised in, we had football tournaments. Myself and two others organised the meetings and it was street versus street. A real mixed bag. But we enjoyed it and most of all, we enjoyed the fact that we could come together when some people in the village still saw the differences between families and people in general, because of colour mostly. It seemed puerile to fight when we knew we could have so much fun. And we did.

If only the world could adopt such a concept and put it into practice instead of all the bickering and killing because of caste, colour or religion. I know that might sound somewhat superfluous inasmuch it is a childlike vision, but then, that’s the entire thinking behind all of this, the childlike element, the innocence and the dismay that it cannot be implemented.

As an adult I still have such dreams. As a child those dreams began, only now I see the higher responsibilities of childlike thoughts but continue to think about the day that those dreams, mine and yours, could become reality.

And finally, now, as an adult, I see the world as it really is. As a child, to some extent, I saw the world through rose coloured glasses. Didn’t we all? But the world would do well to listen to the children. It is their innocence, as ours was, who nurture the greatest dreams, the best inventions as silly as they sometimes were and the ‘glue’ that could hold the world together.

I have always maintained, to a lot of people when I was ‘counselling’, especially concerning children, to listen to your child. It’s an easy concept, it’s acceptable and comprehensible. Far-fetched ideas are not as left field as we once might have imagined and we must also remember, no matter what we do, or how we envisage the world and its future, the children ARE that future. We will pass on the future to our young. We should listen to them, find out what they want, how they want to live their lives. We must do it before it’s too late and they have no world to inherit.

As a child, like most children, I believed there was good in everyone and those inherently blighted by badness, could be helped (converted).

As an adult, like most adults, I believe still, there is good in everyone and those inherently bad were just given the wrong road to follow and they can be helped if they so wish and return to the human race, welcomed as friends.

As a child I didn’t really believe in myself. As an adult I believe in myself as I was when I was a child.

Here endeth the message.

© tcmoon 2011 (2009)